Bepvanmid is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered dingo.

Bepvanmid created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepvanmid, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bepvanmid, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bepvanmid's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Bepvanmid's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.

4. Always remove dresses before touching tin.

5. Do not wear rings marked with yellow.