Spagtenkip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, competent bat.

Spagtenkip created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagtenkip, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Spagtenkip, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Spagtenkip's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Spagtenkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not prepare beans while filled with anger.

3. Always help aardvarks in need.

4. Never fashion tools from bone.

5. Never pour water over plants.