Gofmitsafstigbissjig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring weasel.

Gofmitsafstigbissjig created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Gofmitsafstigbissjig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gofmitsafstigbissjig, it will send you a sign.

Gofmitsafstigbissjig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gofmitsafstigbissjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with mauve.

2. Gofmitsafstigbissjig loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed nuts to tapirs while wearing gray tights.

4. Shun those given to vanity.

5. Do not consume parsnips at dawn.