Spaghuncep Quimquillwip is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, selfish swallow.

Spaghuncep Quimquillwip created the universe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spaghuncep Quimquillwip, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Spaghuncep Quimquillwip, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Spaghuncep Quimquillwip's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Spaghuncep Quimquillwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not laugh in public.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never handle silver while unclean.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.