Fuddubmum is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, selfish newt.

Fuddubmum created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Fuddubmum, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fuddubmum, he will turn you into a duck.

Fuddubmum's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Fuddubmum's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.

3. Never gather seven pigs in one place.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never feed peanuts to frogs while wearing corsets.