Metmetcem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, quiet dingo.

Metmetcem created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metmetcem, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Metmetcem, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Metmetcem's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Metmetcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Metmetcem in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never point your back toward the north during prayer.