Shavegdoss is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic pig.

Shavegdoss created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavegdoss, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Shavegdoss, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Shavegdoss' most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Shavegdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching aluminium.

2. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Never touch ash while unclean.

5. Hide from orange tapirs for they are unholy.