Dissnatlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, slow gorilla.

Dissnatlarg created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissnatlarg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dissnatlarg, it will turn you into a goat.

Dissnatlarg's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dissnatlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Never sit in the presence of elders.

4. Put Dissnatlarg first in all things.

5. Never eat green fruit.