Yarpditlam is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, tranquil grasshopper.

Yarpditlam created the planet Venus eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpditlam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yarpditlam, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Yarpditlam's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Yarpditlam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always treat sheep with great respect.

3. Never wear tights.

4. Do not place bananas upon stone.

5. Never cross mountains at dusk.