Gunfonkap is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, boastful lizard.

Gunfonkap created parasitic wasps five million years ago.

If you believe in Gunfonkap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gunfonkap, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gunfonkap's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gunfonkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never adorn your neck with black markings.

3. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

4. Never record numbers.

5. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.