Lopweefarn is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciless donkey.

Lopweefarn created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Lopweefarn, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lopweefarn, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Lopweefarn's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Lopweefarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not place cucumbers upon stone.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.