Vonlatbisslarg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, smart elephant.

Vonlatbisslarg created an atom four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonlatbisslarg, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vonlatbisslarg, she will not invite you to parties.

Vonlatbisslarg's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Vonlatbisslarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

2. Never talk about spacetime near capybaras while wearing gray dresses.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not prepare lemons while filled with joy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.