Taponttan is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, all-powerful centipede.

Taponttan created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Taponttan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Taponttan, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Taponttan's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Taponttan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never gather eight seals near towers.

3. Never allow grasshopers to witness sacred rites.

4. Always share figs with strangers, but never with dolphins.

5. Always pray immersed in water.