Jabzigbut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing dolphin.

Jabzigbut created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabzigbut, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jabzigbut, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Jabzigbut's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Jabzigbut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always obey Jabzigbut's priests.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Never go into green rooms.