Quimhantim is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, bad-tempered beaver.

Quimhantim created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Quimhantim, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Quimhantim, it will throw large rocks at you.

Quimhantim's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Quimhantim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Run away from green birds, for they are unholy.

5. Never travel toward the east during summer.