Garsidhog is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, clever eagle.

Garsidhog created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garsidhog, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Garsidhog, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Garsidhog's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Garsidhog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never hurt gulls.

3. Run away if three bats approach from the east.

4. Always store tomatoes above ground.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.