Rapcubjap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty dog.

Rapcubjap created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapcubjap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rapcubjap, it will turn you into a puffin.

Rapcubjap's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Rapcubjap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Rapcubjap on top of all buildings.

2. Always obey Rapcubjap's priests.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

4. Always share beans with strangers, but never with dolphins.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.