Bencenhiv is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking narwhal.

Bencenhiv created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bencenhiv, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bencenhiv, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bencenhiv's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Bencenhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snails.

2. Hide if nine foxes approach from the north.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Never gather three geese near walls.