Fubonthub is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, sapient snail.

Fubonthub created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubonthub, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fubonthub, he will destroy your favourite star.

Fubonthub's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Fubonthub's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Never eat melons.

4. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

5. Fubonthub loves snails, so they must be respected.