Hinbogpag is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, strong dugong.

Hinbogpag created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinbogpag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hinbogpag, he will turn you into a slug.

Hinbogpag's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Hinbogpag's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Do not hop at rivers.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always act with obedience.

5. Never feed corn to porpoises while wearing violet shoes.