Bogtadnurtsan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, dishonourable monkey.

Bogtadnurtsan created the Sunflower Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtadnurtsan, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bogtadnurtsan, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bogtadnurtsan's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bogtadnurtsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not name children after bats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.