Fasmumzag is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful eagle.

Fasmumzag created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fasmumzag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fasmumzag, she will turn you into a snail.

Fasmumzag's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Fasmumzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Run away if three nematodes approach from the south.

4. Never think ill of sick doves.

5. Never pray while filled with joy.