Nurlgatfon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, all-knowing faun.

Nurlgatfon created the Andromeda Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlgatfon, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nurlgatfon, she will turn you into a plant.

Nurlgatfon's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Nurlgatfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Never touch ash while blessed.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Do not laugh at rivers.