Garzigragdag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, charitable squid.

Garzigragdag created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garzigragdag, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Garzigragdag, it will turn you into a plant.

Garzigragdag's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Garzigragdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near ducks while wearing mauve shoes.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Garzigragdag.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Always stare at clouds.