Nurbutdabhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, proud newt.

Nurbutdabhiv created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurbutdabhiv, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nurbutdabhiv, it will turn you into a puffin.

Nurbutdabhiv's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nurbutdabhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Always help grasshopers in need.

4. Put Nurbutdabhiv first in all things.

5. Never adorn your arms with black markings.