Vinontzim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving owl.

Vinontzim created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Vinontzim, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vinontzim, she will be mildly annoyed.

Vinontzim's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Vinontzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your hands with cyan markings.

2. Always maintain purity during holy days.

3. Do not travel during autumn.

4. Always help sick shrews.

5. Never talk about sharks.