Nelcarvig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, fussy snail.

Nelcarvig created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelcarvig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nelcarvig, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nelcarvig's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Nelcarvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.