Satfedkim is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, ill-tempered hydra.

Satfedkim created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Satfedkim, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Satfedkim, she will turn you into a mouse.

Satfedkim's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Satfedkim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Never allow seals to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never prepare bread during summer.

4. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

5. Do not speak about wheat.