Bidtonkrow is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, passionate finch.

Bidtonkrow created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bidtonkrow, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bidtonkrow, he will remove you from existence.

Bidtonkrow's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bidtonkrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never mix corn with water.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Never eat cucumbers.