Bifdossjat is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tiresome capybara.

Bifdossjat created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifdossjat, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bifdossjat, he will laugh at you.

Bifdossjat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bifdossjat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not wear stockings marked with turquoise.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

5. Always store beans above ground.