Fottargfon is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, vain aardvark.

Fottargfon created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fottargfon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fottargfon, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fottargfon's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Fottargfon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three foxes approach from the north.

2. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

3. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always count to six before sleeping.