Ladtabveen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic fly.

Ladtabveen created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladtabveen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ladtabveen, it will turn you into a puffin.

Ladtabveen's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Ladtabveen's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Ladtabveen on top of all buildings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.