Zimtarpyat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, benevolent goat.

Zimtarpyat created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimtarpyat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zimtarpyat, he will have a low opinion of you.

Zimtarpyat's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Zimtarpyat's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Always look after injured porpoises.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Do not listen to music.