Tunkambam is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciful alligator.

Tunkambam created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunkambam, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tunkambam, he will remove you from existence.

Tunkambam's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Tunkambam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Always help sick swans.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Learn three new languages a year.