Pitbamced Fonnutbognutt is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, bad-tempered fish.

Pitbamced Fonnutbognutt created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbamced Fonnutbognutt, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pitbamced Fonnutbognutt, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pitbamced Fonnutbognutt's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Pitbamced Fonnutbognutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill sharks.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never wear brown tights.

4. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Pitbamced Fonnutbognutt on top of important buildings.

5. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.