Mipjapnel is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, omnipotent bat.

Mipjapnel created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mipjapnel, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mipjapnel, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mipjapnel's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Mipjapnel's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Do not name children after turtles.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Never bounce in the presence of horses.

5. Always help tortoises.