Zedganquart is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, calm elephant.

Zedganquart created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedganquart, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zedganquart, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Zedganquart's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Zedganquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Erect eight gold sculptures of Zedganquart on top of important buildings.

4. Always remove stockings before entering holy places.

5. Goats are not to be trusted.