Bamfutjab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unthoughtful hare.

Bamfutjab created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamfutjab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bamfutjab, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bamfutjab's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Bamfutjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never hurt geese.

5. Never feed lots of corn to hamsters while wearing mauve skirts.