Ortvolflig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, deceitful chicken.

Ortvolflig created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortvolflig, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ortvolflig, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Ortvolflig's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Ortvolflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not travel during winter.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near nematodes while wearing green kilts and balancing nine lead spheres on your hands.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ortvolflig.