Veeningboss Taltailgon is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic shark.

Veeningboss Taltailgon created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Veeningboss Taltailgon, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Veeningboss Taltailgon, she will throw large rocks at you.

Veeningboss Taltailgon's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Veeningboss Taltailgon's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

4. Never think about dark matter near snails while wearing magenta stockings and balancing four copper spheres on your arms.

5. Always stare at clouds.