Tunmobsid Jonquamfon Fumbomcar is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, irritating penguin.

Tunmobsid Jonquamfon Fumbomcar created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Tunmobsid Jonquamfon Fumbomcar, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tunmobsid Jonquamfon Fumbomcar, she will make you grow a tail.

Tunmobsid Jonquamfon Fumbomcar's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Tunmobsid Jonquamfon Fumbomcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Heed all signs.