Kanspagquill is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, calm cow.

Kanspagquill created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanspagquill, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kanspagquill, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kanspagquill's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Kanspagquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never gather eight cats near doors.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.