Vonsabdanfet is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, unselfish bear.

Vonsabdanfet created Asia nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonsabdanfet, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonsabdanfet, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vonsabdanfet's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Vonsabdanfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chlorophyll.

2. Never eat bread on holy days.

3. Do not contemplate quantum mechanics during the night.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never eat bark.