Farnhotbab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, fussy scorpion.

Farnhotbab created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnhotbab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Farnhotbab, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Farnhotbab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Farnhotbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Shun those given to sloth.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.