Yatthunarp is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, sage salamander.

Yatthunarp created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatthunarp, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yatthunarp, she will torture you forever.

Yatthunarp's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Yatthunarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle tin while unclean.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Do not resist balance.