Flanpidzig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, flying octopus.

Flanpidzig created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Flanpidzig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flanpidzig, she will not invite you to parties.

Flanpidzig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Flanpidzig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Never chant in holy places.