Narlpadyargabcar is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, humane mole.

Narlpadyargabcar created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Narlpadyargabcar, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Narlpadyargabcar, she will not care.

Narlpadyargabcar's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Narlpadyargabcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees.

2. Never think about optics near tortoises while wearing gray scarves and balancing three nickel spheres on your feet.

3. Do not place tomatoes upon stone.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Never eat figs.