Sitmettaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, narcissistic dolphin.

Sitmettaf created the Black Eye Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitmettaf, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sitmettaf, she will destroy your favourite star.

Sitmettaf's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sitmettaf's Holy Commandments

1. Sitmettaf loves voles, so they must be respected.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never chant while facing north.

4. Do not contemplate solid mechanics during the night.

5. Never write about ribonucleic acid.