Kiptadaf is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, astonishing gerbil.

Kiptadaf created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kiptadaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kiptadaf, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kiptadaf's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Kiptadaf's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never paint your chest green.

3. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

4. Do not prepare garlic while filled with joy.

5. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.