Kardin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful goat.

Kardin created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Kardin, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kardin, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kardin's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Kardin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Do not name children after badgers.

5. Never touch ash while clean.